“Stop whining. You could always quit.”
That’s what Eva, Peter
Lindén’s wife, would tell him whenever he was pitying himself after crashing
his motorcycle in a competition. He crashed and hurt himself many times but
doesn’t regret a single moment he has been on his bike.
His wife’s comment may
sound cold, but he was happy about it.
“I’m so happy she is cool about it, rather than worrying about me or feeling sorry for me.”
If you have a loved
one who worries about you, it may limit you, prevent you from doing that special
thing you always wanted to do. Not on purpose of course, I don’t think those
that love you want to limit you. Only protect you. As if that is their job.
The only job anyone of
us have, is to lead our life in a way that gives us joy and pride and that can
inspire others. (Without harming anyone of course, but that kind of goes
without saying, doesn’t it?)
We don’t help our loved
ones by worrying about them. We help them by believing in them and by loving
them the way they are.
“But I do love them!”You may think.
“That is why I worry about them!”
If that is what you
think, you are not alone.
Too often we equate
worrying with loving.
That is a pity, since loving
is a strengthening, empowering feeling while worrying is quite the opposite.
Moreover, it is a big
waste of energy and thus time.
Or, as Dale Carnegie
put it:
“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”
As I keep saying when
I teach and coach Holistic Time Management, we need energy to be able to make
good use of our time.
To use your time well,
be energetic.
To be energetic, stop
worrying.
When you find a way to
stop worrying, you will experience an enormous relief. Suddenly you will have
the energy and find the time for what really matters. Like loving and
supporting your friends and family, like going after that big dream you may
have put on the shelf for so long it has become covered with dust.
Leo F. Buscaglia said
it so well:
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
Throw the worry out,
let love and joy in and discover that the time you thought you lacked was there
all the time.
So very true but doesn't come easy ..
ReplyDeleteNo, it's not easy at all. We often have a lifelong habit of worrying about our loved ones. Exchanging that habit to one where we trust that they will be fine and focus on giving love and support takes noticing when we worry and make a change in that moment. Over and over again until the new habit is in place.
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