Your ethical will: What is good advice?

Welcome back to Twelve essential questions to tell a life story.

By joining me in twelve blog posts you will create what Rabbi Leder calls your ethical will.

By answering the questions your loved ones will get to know you deeper and you will understand yourself better. 

Let your memories bring meaning!

To join – read the blog posts, reflect on the questions and write your own answers. You are very welcome to share them in the comments. 

What is good advice?

The more life experience I gather, the less advice I give - unless someone explicitly asks for it.

For this exercise though, I get to share advice to those who will be around when I am gone.

What Steve has in mind when he asks us to share good advice is to write down five sayings that encapsulate the accrued wisdom of our life experience.

I have collected such sayings ever since I was a little girl and my friend Eva and I wrote expressions and slogans down in notepads and shared them with each other. Nowadays I write them in the back of my Holistic Time Management Planner.

As Steve writes:

“Aphorisms, expressions, proverbs, and slogans are crystalized wisdom to guide the people we love in life and long after with just a few simple and vitally important words.”

Before I tell you which ones I have selected, I will share five sayings from the book:

Above all, do no harm.
This is of course important for all of us. When I studied to become a life coach this was one of the first things we were told. 

Don't major in the minors.
I like this one since it is similar to the advice I give when I help people find time and energy: Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Here are a few funny ones from the book: 

The first rule of bankruptcy law.

“If something starts fucked up it usually ends fucked up. ”

On respect:

The boss isn’t always right but (s)he’s still the boss.

On doctors and auto mechanics:

If they look, they find.

Here is my collection of advice for my loves ones:

Remember that there is no reality, only perception. As Hamlet said:

There is nothing either good or bad

but thinking makes it so

Leave out any judgement of yourself and others. I like what Dale Carnegie said:

Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

There will be ups and downs in your life. You may not like every down, but you would not enjoy the ups without them. In the painful moments, remember what Winston Churchill said:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

The walk through hell can be tough, but remember that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Let the pain flow through you rather than getting stuck deep inside. Dare to feel every emotion that comes to you.

And most of all, always remember:

Det löser sig. 

It will work out. You may not know how or when, but it will work out. It always does.


Now it's your turn. 

What 5 top sayings do you want your loved ones to keep in mind?