"Over the years I have learned to dare not to be loved by everyone," says Olle Carlsson, a priest used to challenging the status quo.But daring not to be loved is hard, isn't it?
At the same time, it's impossible to be loved or even liked by everyone.
When I help ambitious knowledge workers get more done with less effort and deeper joy, I help them choose what to do and what not to do. Sometimes this means saying no, which can be scary.
Why?
For the reason I just mentioned.
We are often afraid to say no for fear of not being liked.
This is instinctive, as I explain in my webinar How to powerfully say no. But, like many fears, it is unhelpful.
Contrary to what we may believe, being a people pleaser will not make us loved, and it definitely won't make us respected.
It takes courage to risk being disliked.
It also takes courage to love.
Going back to Olle Carlsson, he says of his partner Fotini that she is "too young and beautiful for me, but we are inseparable". He goes on to say that she is brave enough to love him despite what people around them think.Do you dare to say no, even if someone does not like it?
Do you dare to love the person your heart chooses for you?
I hope so.
