When we talk about sharing the work at home, frustration often comes from what is not done. From the things we end up doing ourselves, even though we think someone else should have done them.
It’s easy to feel like a martyr who does “everything” or at least the majority of the work at home.
In a meeting with my Timefinder community, we talked about what happens when we start paying attention to what is being done instead.
One member said that after one of our earlier conversations, she became more aware of what her husband actually did around the house. That shift made it easier for her to let go of some of the frustration she had been carrying.
Another woman said she appreciates how her husband makes beautiful meals, even though the kitchen often looks like a small storm has passed through it afterwards.
I am deeply grateful every time my husband removes dead mice brought in by the cats and clears spiders from the basement.
To appreciate work that is done, we need to see it.
It took me years to realise that my husband regularly empties the water system and airs the heated towel rack.
Becoming aware of what others in your household do makes it easier to appreciate what is done and to divide the work in ways that reduce blame and frustration.
Small shifts like these can make a real difference at home.
If you want support in sharing the work at home in a way that feels fair, practical, and sustainable, I have created an online course for that. It focuses on everyday situations and real conversations.
You can read more about it here.
