Your ethical will: When was a time you led with your heart?

Welcome back to Twelve essential questions to tell a life story. By joining me in twelve blog posts you will create what Rabbi Leder calls your ethical will.

By answering the questions your loved ones will get to know you deeper and you will understand yourself better. Let your memories bring meaning!

To join – read the blog posts, reflect on the questions and write down your own answers. You are very welcome to share them in the comments.

Welcome on an interesting journey!

When was a time you led with your heart?

My spontaneous answer is that I lead with my heart most of the time. I want to follow my heart and take my head with me. Following my heart is easy. Discerning the voice of my heart from the voice of my head can be harder.  

I attended a course with author and teacher Jeffrey Allen who described how he used to think he had no intuition. Then he learned to listen to and follow his intuition. It wasn’t until then he realised he had always followed it.

It is the same for me about following my heart. The more I follow it, the more I understand I "always have". Thanks to following my heart I have found the love of my life, a home I love and I have written stories that touch hearts and open minds. 

I have selected one important time I led with my heart that I will share with you. Before I do, let’s have a look at one of the answers in the book For you when I am gone:

"When I was eighteen years old , I ran after a handsome twenty-year-old boy and blocked him from entering the restroom at a restaurant we were both dining at. I knew him - he wasn’t a stranger. I said to him, 

“When you get rid of her” - he had a girlfriend at the time - “and you will… give me a call.” Then I ran back to my table.  

A year and a half later he did. [...] The rest is history."

A time I led with my heart was when I decided to leave the great career I had to become my own boss. 

If you follow me on LinkedIn or if you have listened to one of the podcasts I have been a guest on, you will recognize this story. 

I won’t be here when I turn 50

One of my colleagues turned 50, so we were celebrating her in the office by the riverside.

As she talked about how she hadn’t planned to stay so long at this company I nodded in recognition. Before working at that company, I had changed companies every 2-3 years. But, as my colleague was saying, this company was large enough to satisfy her (and my) need for growth and variation.

Then there was this voice in my head, saying “I won’t be here when I turn 50.”

I didn’t know then, but I know now that it was my intuition talking.

Just before I turned 50 I left the interesting company I had worked so long for, to work full time in my own company.

Not because I wanted to “escape corporate” but because it was time. Time for new adventures.

I haven't regretted it a second - but if I hadn't dared to take that step I would have regretted not doing it many times over by now.

My advice to my loved ones: 

Intuition whispers while conviction shouts.

If you hear or feel it, don’t ignore it. It may be guiding you to something fantastic.

Now it’s your turn.

When was a time you led with your heart?

How to find time in January - Use 3 types of plans

Are you all excited about the new year?

Eager to achieve and experience new things?

I hope so! I know I am.

Are you also worried you may not get them done?
Maybe you worry about losing energy and enthusiasm on the way or getting overwhelmed.
No need to worry. 

By using 3 types of straight-forward plans you can stay balanced, on track and out of last-minute rush!

Find time in January, by introducing and using 3 levels of plans:

Your weekly plan.

Make sure you spend your week in ways that give energy and room for what you want. Only then can you use your time efficiently. You can learn more about weekly planning here. 

Your Daily plan.

Keep yourself on track without overloading your brain. Focus on 3 wanted outcomes, keep track of all deadlines and appointments and see anything else as bonus. You can learn more about daily planning here. 

Your monthly plan.

Avoid last-minute rush and unnecessary collisions with a monthly outlook. No need to go into details, just look ahead and see how you can be ready for different events and appointments. You can learn more about monthly planning here.

Going deeper

To learn even more about these types of plans, plus the powerful concept: Do it now or do it now later, watch this webinar to get examples and guidance. The webinar is accessible for Timefinder Academy members.

You can sign up and get access immediately >>> here <<<.

These 3 types of plans have helped many, I hope they will help you achieve what you want this year, in a balanced and fun way!

Wrap up the year in a way that feels good - do a WINE analysis.

Welcome to December, a perfect month to look back at the year in a way that gives energy and insights for the coming year.

I suggest you do a WINE analysis for the year that is now coming to an end. 

You will move focus from “all the things you didn’t get done” to the things you have experienced and achieved this year.

This will empower you and give you a great platform for new goals next year!

We are used to focusing on all the things we have not yet done. Too often we beat ourselves up about it. This reduces energy and makes us even less likely to achieve future goals.

What we often forget is we get things done and we experience and achieve things all the time. Recognizing this increases energy and our chances of achieving more in the future.

What I suggest you do in December is to take time out, together with your loved ones if you can, and do a WINE analysis.

WINE is an acronym for

• Winning
• Influence
• Needed
• Enjoyment

Reflecting about what you have experienced this year in these 4 areas in 3 of your life spheres is likely to make you happy and proud!

Instructions for How to find time in December:

1. Set aside one hour for reflection. Alone or with your loved ones.
2. Sit down with pen and paper (or computer if you turn off notifications that distract you) and look at each area and life sphere in the WINE analysis. Write down what you have achieved and experienced in these areas. Celebrate and enjoy! Learn and grow!

Tools and guidance:

Watch this webinar to get examples and guidance. Reflect back on the year along with the participants!

This webinar is accessible for Timefinder Academy members.

You can sign up and get access immediately >>> here <<<.

If you are not yet ready to join the academy, just download >>> this template<<< and use it when you fill in your own WINE analysis.

I hope you will enjoy reflecting about the year and finding energy and time!

Your ethical will: What do you regret?

 Welcome to Twelve essential questions to tell a life story. By joining me in twelve blogposts you will create what Rabbi Leder calls your ethical will.

By answering the questions your loved ones will get to know you deeper and you will understand yourself better. Let your memories bring meaning!

To join – read the blogposts, reflect on the questions and write down your own answers. You are very welcome to share them in the comments but you can of course also keep your answers in a document that is for your eyes only for now.

Welcome on an interesting journey!

What do you regret?

Before I give my answer, I will share one of the answers in the book For you when I am gone:

“I spent too much time comparing, judging, seeking approval, being hurt, wanting approval, looking outward for happiness. Now I want to forgive, to accept people for who and how they are. I can’t waste time trying to change them, I can only change my expectations of them. I don’t want to spend time anymore being hurt.”

This makes me think of Anouk’s wonderful song: I don’t wanna hurt, a song Jenny sings in my book Jenny, Jenny / Love, guilt, and motorcycles. You can find the song on Spotify. 

When I first saw this question I frowned. I don’t believe in regret. As you may know I am a Timefinder and regrets and worry should be avoided. They are major time- and energy wasters.

But I believed Steve Leder knew what he was talking about, so I gave it some more thought.  

What if I looked at the question about regret as something I wish I would have done differently, even if I don’t dwell on it anymore? When looking at it that way I found answers that indeed helped me understand myself better.

There are things I have done that didn’t work out as intended. I don’t regret these, not if they felt right in the moment. What I do regret is when I did something that felt downright wrong in the moment and I reasoned myself into thinking it was the right thing to do anyway.

This was when our first son was a baby. I had started working again and it was my husband’s turn to be on paternity leave. When I had put our son to sleep I had often put him in bed with me. My husband wanted to teach him to sleep in his own bed and at times would leave him there before he had fallen asleep, even if he would scream and cry. My husband had been told that was the way to do it. "If you fuss with them they will never stop. Let them scream. Eventually they will calm down and fall asleep."

Everytime my son would scream and my husband wouldn’t go into him I had a physical reaction. My heart, my instincts, everything inside of me shouted: Go to him. Pick him up. Comfort him. Instead I listened to my head. It’s my husband’s turn. I can’t tell him how to do it. He does it his way, I do it my way.

Sometimes I would walk out of the house since I just couldn’t stand hearing the crying without doing something about it.

This regret is not because something turned out badly. Our oldest son is just fine. What I regret was not listening to my heart.

My advice to my loved ones: Listen to your heart. It may lead you into thorny, difficult situations at times but you will never regret following that inner voice.

Now it’s your turn:

What do you regret?

How to find time in November - give yourself the right nutrition

Happy, energetic people will always get more done than sad, stressed-out people.

One way of helping yourself be energetic is by giving yourself the kind of nutrition that gives energy and health.

You don’t have to learn a new, fancy diet. 

The simple guidelines I share in this month’s video will be enough.

Simple, straightforward solutions are always easier to follow than complicated ones.

That's why I like Michael Pollan's advice about what to eat:

Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.

If on top of that, you sleep enough and move regularly you can let yourself eat a bit crazy during the holidays coming up in December.

Tools and guidance:

For a deeper understanding of energy and how we can stay energetic and healthy, watch the webinars

Energy and Nutrition

and

Health and Beyond

with Natural health expert Anne Summers.

These webinars are accessible for Timefinder Academy members.

You can sign up and get access immediately >>> here <<<.

If you are not yet ready to join the academy, just follow the advice I give in the video – it will help you give your body the nutrition it needs to be energetic.

I hope you will enjoy finding energy and thereby time!

3 time management lessons from Country Queen Jill Johnson

Foto av Bengt Nyman. Wikimedia Commons

Jill went on tour with Tomboola Band when she was 14 years old. How did her parents dare to let her go on tour that young?

Jill says her parents knew she was a good girl; they could trust her.

When it comes to what Jill lets her teenage daughter do she differentiates between real dangers and her own fears. We learn by living and Jill doesn’t want to stifle her daughter’s learning because of fear.

Lesson 1: Trust your loved ones

By trusting your loved ones, you will spend less time and energy worrying and controlling them. Not only will you save time and energy, you will also take good care of your relationships with this approach.

When Jill was 22 years old she fell in love with a man who had children from a previous relationship. She did all she could to fit in, and she managed. Jill became a valued part of the family. In hindsight she sees that it came at a cost. She is proud of what she did for others, but not proud about losing herself on the way. When she learned to use what she calls ”the magical word No” she found a way to combine the two.

Lesson 2: Care for yourself and others

Giving all you have to others will eventually dry you up. If you care for yourself and others you will continuously have a well to take and give from.

Caring for yourself is a great gift to people around you. Learning to powerfully say no is an important part of that. We recently had a webinar about this in the Timefinder Academy and I am adding it to my leadership courses so I can help more people with this.

Jill’s career has gone well, so well she got overwhelmed. She went to see a therapist. At first she found it embarrassing so she called it stress management. Now she says that everyone who can afford it should talk to a therapist.

“In reality I am paying to talk to myself”, she says, going on to say that if she doesn’t reflect her soul falls behind. It’s not until she stops to think and feel that it catches up again.

Lesson 3: Let your soul catch up

When you take time to reflect about life, your soul catches up with you. Going to a therapist/coach/friend can help you talk to yourself.

We often underestimate the power of reflection. I hope you don’t. It is a core part of all coaching and training I give.

You can start here and now. 

Pick one day in the week or one time in the day when you set aside a few minutes to reflect about your day or week. This will automatically calm you down and will most likely remind you about things you would have otherwise forgotten. Believe me, it is worth these few minutes.

I am wrapping up this blogpost with one of Jill’s songs. It has inspired my husband and I to include “Roots and Wings” in our visions for how we want to live.  

Just cause you got roots

Doesn’t mean you can’t have wings

You can listen to it on Spotify here.

How to find time in October - Eisenhower with a twist

Do you feel rushed and behind?

We often do in this quarter. 

Many goals, be they private or professional, have their due date at the end of the year.

It is easy to get stuck in the zone of demand where everything seems urgent 🏃and important ❗

That is not a good place to be, at least not for long.

This month I am helping you move away from continuous urgency.

That requires using the Eisenhower Matrix with a twist.

The Eisenhower matrix is a helpful tool when planning and prioritizing your day. Still many give up on it because they

• are unable or unwilling to delegate
• feel guilty when they do things that are neither important nor urgent 

The key is to spend more time in the “sweet spot”, working on what is not yet urgent but still important, even when you feel that you “don’t have time”.

Tools and guidance

Set aside an hour to learn and apply the Eisenhower matrix with a twist.

Watch the webinar >> Balance with Eisenhower << and make a plan for how to do more of what is in your zone of fulfillment.

The webinar is accessible for Timefinder Academy members. 

This month's live webinar in the Timefinder Academy is about the Art of Delegating. If you choose to become a member you will be invited to that one too. 

You can sign up and get access to the recording immediately and be invited to the the next live webinar by clicking >>> this link<<<.

If you are not yet ready to join the academy, you can read this >> free material  << about the Eisenhower matrix.

I hope you will enjoy finding time!