Below you can find another chapter from the book Thank you, mum. I hope it touches your heart.
(For the Swedish version, scroll down and then select Next post.)
"It won't be long now, Monica, you'd better come over."
Those were your mother's, my grandma's words on the phone. Grandma had, just like you would end up having, a period in which she went in and out of the hospital. She got her medicine adjusted every time, in the hope that it would help her. She'd just realized there probably wouldn't be any more back and forth. It went all downhill from there, so she asked you to come over.
You weren't the only one who showed up. Grandma was the stalwart of the entire family, many came to be with her those last few days. At the time you were so strong, but oh, how you missed her afterward. She'd been so important to you. Later on, when your thoughts became more and more entangled, you wanted to call her, you wanted to go and visit her. We'd remind you that she'd passed, sometimes you remembered, other times you got upset.
"But I wasn't even at the funeral!"
You were. When we showed you the pictures from that day you understood what you were seeing, but it saddened you that the memory was lost. When your dementia progressed, neither pictures nor reminders helped. You were convinced you could go see her if only we would help you get there. You missed her so much.
Most of us are more scared of losing our loved ones than of dying ourselves. When we die, we die. We don't know what's in store for us, and maybe we don't give much thought to it. But when someone we love dies, we're left with our sorrow. No wonder that scares us.
I've already made the point in this book not to fight death. There is no stopping it. Not even when it comes to friends, pets, or family. There is no point in fighting it, to live in constant fear. Let's fight for life instead. For a life together.
I have developed a habit throughout the years of counting my blessings. At least once a day, I often think of all the wonderful people and animals around me. This daily act of gratitude reminds me to not take anything for granted. It reminds me, no matter how stressed you are or what’s going on in life, to show love and kindness. This habit has helped me cope with loss. Through the darkness of loss, I can see all our memories shine. It strengthens me to know that I truly enjoyed our time spent together.
We can't escape death; we can't keep it away from our friends. But with gratitude, we can face death, head held high and a smile behind all those tears.
"Alright, death! I'm ready for you. You can take my friend's body away from me, but not all the amazing days we've shared. Do what you need to, then beat it. Our memories will live on forever!"
Please share this blogpost if you think it can help someone!
This was a chapter from the book Thank you, mum. A book for those who miss someone.
If you would like to give the book to someone you think can be soothed by it, or to yourself, you can find it on Amazon on any of the links below, or you can search for it on your Amazon of choice. The price is around 17 euros. If your market shows another price, I suggest you try out another market.