Of course it will work out

My friend Lisbeth used to say:

Det är klart att det löser sig, men det löser sig inte av sig självt. 

(Of course it will work out, but not by itself.)

I think this philosophy is profound and useful in its simplicity.

Fearful and stressed minds are not able to innovate, they are not able to look for solutions.

Believing it will work out doesn’t mean that you just Wait and See.

You can Wait and Do.

Once you truly believe that things will work out, you will have the peace of mind to do things that make a positive difference.

Actually, even better than doing is being.

You can Wait and Be.

Be the person you want to be, no matter what the circumstances are. A person who makes a positive difference.

The way you are will influence others and one day you will notice it has worked out.

Thanks to your way of being, thanks to your belief that it would work out.

I know Lisbeth is looking at us from heaven, with a smile on her face and her feet dangling from the edge of a cloud.

She knows we will be fine.

You do too.

Just Wait and Be.

Motivating others starts with you

“That celebration cake didn’t work either. No one in my team cares about the outcome of the project.” Victor walked up to Manda’s desk. He was so frustrated and moved so fast the papers blew off her desk as he walked by.

“Sorry”, he mumbled as he bent down to pick them up. “Why are you still here by the way? It’s late.”

“We have a bug blocking the delivery. Me and my team are staying until...”

“What have you promised them? Overtime food? Some kind of bonus? I have tried virtually everything but in the end no one will do anything extra unless I order them to.”

“I haven’t ordered anyone anything. But we all know how important it is to get this fixed.”

“Well, yes, I thought everyone in my project knew what was important too. But I just can’t motivate them.”

Manda stopped looking at the screen and looked at Victor as he put the papers in piles on her desk. In the wrong order, but she knew better than to mention that now.

“You can’t motivate others”, she said.

“What do you mean? Your people are motivated.”

“I like my project. You work hard on yours out of obligation. How can you expect your team to be motivated when you aren’t?”

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

“You can’t add fuel to someone else’s flame if you’re a wet blanket.”

John Maxwell

As always – start with yourself.

Know yourself.

If you want others to be inspired, be inspired.

There are leaders in your shadow

"I am so sorry!"

Olivia rushed into the room behind the stage, dragging the cabin bag with its broken wheel across the floor.

"I know we are just minutes away from starting the whole conference, what is the status?"

Her heart was beating furiously. Not just because she had been running from the airport bus to the convention center, but because of the stress. The stress she had felt as soon as she had learned that her flight, along with 50 other flights, had been cancelled due to the storm.

She was responsible for the grand opening of the conference, and instead of arriving the day before, she arrived just minutes before the first speaker would enter the stage.

No wonder she was stressed, no wonder her heart was pumping furiously.

"Everything is under control", her junior colleague Anne said, smiling and moving Olivia's bag out of the way.

"Under control?" Olivia couldn't believe what she heard. She had not been able to stay in contact with them, there had been such a chaos at the airport and her phone had run out of battery.

"Yes." Dan, her most trusted collegague and friend, put his hand on her shoulder. "It is all under control. You should have seen when Anne took charge. Everything has worked out well. We are ready. Relax."

Minutes later the conference opened. All worked out well and Olivia realized she had had a great leader right in front of her nose for months, without realizing it.

One of your main tasks as a leader, is to grow new leaders.
They will only grow if you step away now and then so they can get out of your shadow.

Once you do, you can enjoy the bonus:  

The inner calmess from knowing that others can step into your shoes the times you can't.

One is none, two is one

Would you like your leaders to enjoy their work even more?

And feel more confident about their decisions at the same time?

There is a proven way to increase both enjoyment and confidence.

It has been around for years, but we have not yet applied it to leadership roles.

That is a pity, since the same way of working also reduces stress and increases creativity.

What is this magic process or tool I am talking about?

Pair leading.

If you haven’t heard about it, it is hardly surprising. As far as I know I am the only one using the term.

But even if you haven’t heard about pair-leading, I believe you have heard about the benefits of pair programming.

According to Wikipedia 96% of pair programmers stated in an online survey that they enjoyed their work more than when they programmed alone and 95% said that they were more confident in their solutions when they pair programmed.

Wouldn’t it be great if 96% of your leaders could enjoy their work more?

Photo by Amy Hirschi on Unsplash

So why is pair programming common, while pair leading is not?

One reason is that leaders are often seen as individuals rather than part of a team or a pair.

In some company cultures the leader is even expected to be a strong individual rather than part of a team.

I work with many ambitious and strong leaders.

Many of them are on the edge of being overworked, while others are no longer on the edge.

They fell off the edge and have a long way back.

A common cause of stress is the feeling that

“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”

Or

“I am the only who can do it.”

When you feel this way, you go to work even when you are under the weather.

You save up vacation days but you never use them.

When new challenges or opportunities arise, you have a hard time dealing with them, since you are already working excessively with the day to day business.

Working in a pair or a team would relieve the pressure.

Then you can plan a vacation, knowing that your colleague can take over the most important parts of your work.

You can do a quick hand-over when you suddenly need to stay home to take care of a sick child.

And – as icing on the cake - at work you will have a sounding board.

Together you will make better decisions.

Together you will be better leaders.

One is none – two is one.

Are you afraid the company cannot afford it?

Well, how much does is cost your company to have leaders on sick-leave or making poor decisions when over-worked, or lacking the head space to be innovative?

You can afford pair-leading, or project management teams.
The question is - can you afford not to implement it?

When no one is listening - stop talking

The kid was frantic. Kicking and screaming, refusing to go home from daycare.
His mother was trying to reason with him. She used logical arguments, explaining why they needed to do what she had planned, not what he wanted. The boy screamed even louder and put his arms around his head while his mother became increasingly desperate.

I remember thinking;

Why on earth are you talking to a child who is not in a listening state?

Greta Thunberg was clearheaded about it, when she said:

"Why would I waste time talking to him [Donald Trump] when he, of course, is not going to listen to me?"

Why indeed?

Angry toddler. 

Photo by Mohamed Abdelgaffar from Pexels

I have picked up my kids on many occasions and walked away with them in my arms, calming them down with my physical presence rather than with words that would just fall on deaf ears.

It is harder to pick up a colleague who is not listening, or a parent who refuses to accept help.

When you are faced with a person who is not ready or willing to listen - stop talking.

When you resist what is, you waste your time and your energy.

Stop talking, and do something else to get through.

Like picking up your child, or tickling her/him. 

Or something else that breaks the stalemate.


In the example of a colleague, you can choose to simply leave it be for a while.

Come back to the topic another time.

Your words, your time and your energy are too valuable to waste. Only use them when and where they make a difference.

Set goals like a child, not like a fearful adult

“So, what are the goals we are going after this year?”

Manda looked at Victor with anticipation. He knew why. Tomorrow she was going to have a kick-off with the project team. She wanted to have juicy, inspirational goals to share. And she expected him to give them to her.

He cleared his throat, but she interrupted him before he even got started.

“No, don’t tell me. We will go all in on that idea that came up in the last Hackathon and finally show the world that we are as innovative as we say in our marketing. Right?”

She looked at him as a child the day before Christmas. With the same eagerness he had had when the leadership team had gone off-site to set the goals for the year.

“Well... you know, it’s hard to set that as a goal. We have no idea if we can achieve that or not. We haven’t done these things before and...” his voice trailed off when he saw her look.

She crossed her arms.

“So, tell me. What is the goal for the year?”

He looked down and mumbled so she could barely hear him.

“We will increase the sales by 10%.”

Manda shook her head and sighed.

“You didn’t set a goal Victor. You made a bloody forecast.”

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

When children see something they want, they go after it. They believe without a doubt they can become astronauts, dancers, prime ministers or teachers. Or anything else they want.

As we grow up, we learn that not achieving the goals we set is the same as failing.
Over time we even see ourselves as failures if we don’t meet the goals.
Instead of aiming high and risking to fail, we set our goals lower and lower.

We stop aiming for what is possible and settle for what is obtainable.

Don’t fall into that trap.

Set goals as inspiration and use each outcome as a stepping stone – not a measure of your worth.

Happy goal setting!

Using No as fuel

“Why is that guy even working here? Has he ever contributed to anything? I mean, I can deal with different opinions, with criticism, but that guy – he is so downright negative he makes Ebenezer Scrooge seem like Polyanna.”

Victor paced the conference room. Manda looked at him.

“He didn’t like your proposal, I know, but...”

“He never likes anyone’s proposal, he is negative to everything, why should I spend energy on updating a proposal he will not like anyway?”

Manda stood up and got in Victor’s way, forcing him to stop pacing.

“You are not going to update it until he likes it. You are going to update it until you like it. Use the parts of his criticism that make sense and create an even better proposal.“

Victor looked at her, his chest moving as if he had run up the stairs rather than just sitting in the conference room. He wanted to say that there was nothing useful in the old man’s complaints, but deep inside he knew there was always something worth looking into. The guy was annoying but not stupid.

“It’s just that... I don’t know why I let him get to me.”

Manda shrugged.

“Because you want him to like your proposals. Even though he never does. Stop aiming for praise you'll never get. Turn it into a game. How many of his Nos do you need to make your proposal really great?”

He looked at her, suddenly smiling.

“You’re right. I will be like Rocky.”

“Rocky? Your cat?”

“No, Rocky Balboa.” Victor relaxed his face and imitated Sylvester Stallone:

“It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” 

Rocky Balboa. Flickr

Some people will love everything you do.

Some people will dislike everything you do.

Regardless of what you do.

Make sure you use whatever opinions people have, as ways to improve. Then both Yes and No will help you, and you will be unstoppable.