One of my clients once confided in me, “It’s as if I’m not doing this maternity thing right,” when she started longing for work just three months into her maternity leave. (In Sweden, it’s common to be on maternity leave for a year or more.)
The fear of
being a bad parent seems to haunt so many of us, like a shadow that never quite
leaves, only stepping back occasionally.
And there's still this old idea of a "good mother": someone self-sacrificing, always putting herself last. It makes it harder to be great parents and happy people at the same time.
I think of something Adele once said about the divorce from the father of her child:
"If I can reach the reason why I left, which was the pursuit of my own
happiness, even though it made Angelo [their son] really unhappy—if I can find
that happiness and he sees me in that happiness, then maybe I'll be able to
forgive myself for it."
You know
what I think?
We’re never going to get this "maternity thing" completely right.
And that’s okay—because we’re never going to get it completely wrong either.
Parenting, much like life itself, is always evolving.
All we can do is ride the waves,
make the best choices we can with what we know at the time, and try to enjoy
the experience along the way.
I wish you
luck on this ever-changing adventure.
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