Hard work doesn’t always pay off

“I am sorry. I really don’t know why we didn’t make it. We did everything we could, everyone has worked so hard…” her voice trailed off. Steven looked up at the most senior project manager the company had. She was standing by the window in his office, hunched over, no sign of the energy that normally radiated from her tall figure. 

He put down his reading glasses. Knew how she hated when he was acting fatherly, so he resisted the urge to get up from behind his desk and pat her on the shoulder.

“I take it this is your first project that didn’t deliver as planned?”

She turned toward him.

“Of course. I have never failed before. I don’t understand how we could miss the deadline, and I really don’t understand how the competition could make it on time. I don’t get it. We did everything right; better than in previous projects in some aspects but… this time it wasn’t enough.” She looked at her shoes, black with red tips.

Now he couldn’t stop himself from getting up, so he did, and he put his hand on her shoulder.

Photo by Felipe Cespedes from Pexels

“Let me tell you a secret.” She looked at him, wondering why he was whispering like a child. 

"What?”

“Sometimes even winners lose. You can do everything right and still fail. You can give it all you’ve got and the results will still not be as expected.”

She swallowed hard. He walked back to his desk, quoting Rachel Simmons:

“The humbling, brutal, messy reality is that you can do everything in your power and still fail.”

Many of my clients beat themselves up when they don’t achieve all their goals. They think that hard work always pays off. The truth is - sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.

Holistic Time Management tip:

 Instead of beating yourself up when things don’t go your way, remember that obstacles are really just detours in the right direction.

The stairway to heaven is not a stairway

“But I am not ready!” Nora looked at her boss, her eyes wide, her heart pounding.

“Ready?” Her boss looked at her over the round glasses. “What is ready?”

Nora looked back with an annoyed frown.
“Well, you know, I thought I would lead one of the smaller projects first, before taking on a project of this size.”

Her boss smiled, looking more like a wise old owl than usual.

“It would be nice, wouldn’t it? If your big goal would sit nicely on top of a stairway, waiting for you to climb there, one step at a time. With enough time on each step to get used to the altitude.”

Nora plucked with her scarf, not knowing what to say.

“The thing is”, her boss continued, “that there is no such thing as being ready. And there is definitely no such thing as an opportunity showing up exactly when you think you are ready. The road to success is not like walking stairs. Some stairs are missing. Sometimes you miss the stair. Actually, it is more like walking in the mist. You only see the first few steps of your journey. The other steps will not be clear until you get there.”

Nora cleared her throat.

“But, what if I… you know, fail?”

“You won’t. You’ll do your best and you will get help when you need it. You see, if you want to wait until the mist clears, you will notice that whatever you are looking for has moved by the time you get there.”

“So, what do I…”

“You start walking and trust that you will find your way. Or, in this case, just take the role I am asking you to take, will you?”

When kids fell out of the trees

“Första gången jag träffade er, trillade barn ur träden.”

My sister in law recently reminded me that the first time she visited us, children were falling out of the trees.

It was a summer day and we were all in the garden. Our three sons were playing with their friends and yes, they were climbing the apple tree and falling out of it. My brother and sister in law’s Jack Russel chased our cats and our dog chased their dog. (He would always protect “his” cats, even if he would happily chase other cats.)

Yes, kids were falling out of the trees. Toys were all over the house and the garden was growing above our heads.

Now the boys are all teenagers and if they fall it is rather from a moped than from an apple tree.

Life has changed. It does all the time. Too often we forget to change with it.

We tend to add things all the time, but we rarely remove anything. Not only at home, but also at work.

Consider a checklist that is helpful when created. Over the months and years of using it, anything we come up with is added. Any small mistake must be prevented so another item is added. And another one.

Suddenly you have an elephant checklist that is never used because it is too extensive to be practical.

To change when life does, regularly review what you do.

At home – are you doing all the things you did pre-kids, at the cost of having fun together with your kids or your partner?

At work – are the checklists, procedures and meetings still relevant or is it time for an update, a decluttering?

Remember the great quote from Peter Drucker:

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

We all go through different life phases. 

To enjoy whatever phase you are in right now – make room for it by removing what is no longer relevant.

Keep your foot out of your mouth, sweetie

The chairman looked at the only woman in the meeting room. She was the expert in these types of questions.

“This assignment will fit like a glove for you, sweetie. Can you start tomorrow?”

Manda looked straight at him but didn’t respond.He tried again.

“Sweetie? Manda?”

“Oh, you mean me? I thought you were referring to Victor.”

The chairman frowned.

“Victor? This is not his area of expertise.”

Manda cocked her head to the side.

“No, no it isn’t. But since he is such a sweetie, I thought you were referring to him.”

Victor tried to keep quiet, but his chuckling grew steadily louder.

The chairman looked confused and Manda was not offering any more explanation. Victor intervened.

“I think what Manda is saying, is that if you call me Victor, she wants to be called Manda. But I guess if you call me sweetie, you can call her sweetie too.”

Be aware of how you use language. Or rather, be aware of your thoughts.

As long as you truly see the individual behind every face, be it a woman or a man, a person with light skin or dark skin, a young person or an old person, you will be truly inclusive and you will automatically keep your foot out of your mouth.

Honesty is no excuse

”Well, at least I am honest about it, I tell it like it is!”

The senior project manager Victor raised his chest and chin, staring at the colleagues around the table. The junior developer who had just been told he was useless and not good enough to stay in the project, walked out of the conference room, head down. The atmosphere in the conference room was tense, cold.

Photo by Craig Adderley from Pexels

After a few seconds of silence, Manda sighed deeply.

“Really Victor? Since when is honesty about telling people they are useless?”

“Well, he is! Have you seen his code? What was I supposed to say, that he is doing well? He isn’t!”

Manda stood up.

“Don’t use honesty as an excuse to be a bully.”

Victor also stood up, looking closely at Manda. She was one of the best ones in his team. He could not afford losing her, or her trust.

“Hey, I don’t have time to be a teacher to that kid.”

Manda put her hand on his elbow, lead him out of the room, away from the colleagues who all felt awkward. 

“I know that you want the best for the project Victor. When you calm down a bit you will remember what honesty is really about.”

Victor stopped and put his hands in his pockets.

“Well, since I am not calm yet, why don’t you remind me.”

“An honest leader would have seen his own mistake of promoting this developer too soon. And he would have handled the consequences without making someone else look bad. Honesty creates trust, Victor. Not fear.”

Victor lowered his head.

“I behaved like an asshole, didn’t I?”

Manda smiled.

“Are you sure you want an honest reply to that?”

The Beauty of Art part 18 - the answers

She will turn 99 this year. The painter of Untitled (1969) that I showed in The Beauty of Art part 18.

She has plans for her 100th birtday and when she was young she was friends with the artist Frida Kahlo.

Extract from a photo in TIME April 29-May 6, 2019

Her name is Luchita Hurtado and she was born in Caracas, Veneuela, in 1920. She has had her share of tragedies in life, including losing a child to polio, but she is optimistic by nature:

"I never said no to life. I have a responsibility to the world, to my planet."

Her paintings were discovered when a curator went through her late husband's (Lee Mullican) paintings and some of hers were in the same studio. She had had exhibitions before, but they didn't get as much attention as she has gotten lately. 

Luchita has a vision of the human body as part of the world, which can be seen in her paintings.

"My thoughts have always been that my body is just on loan to me, that I better take care of it because I have to give it back.”

Luchita is articistic in many ways. In addition to painting she has also worked with photography, designing her own clothes and writing poetry.

I find her paintings intriguing and her way of being inspiring.

The Beauty of Art part 18

Have you missed the Beauty of Art in this blog?
Wait no more, here comes...

The Beauty of Art part 18


Some artists become known early on in life.

Some late, like the artist in this Beauty of Art post.

“Because I never felt before that I needed to share. It was the other way around: I worked to please myself.”

Photo credit: Jeff Mclane

I hope the work of this artist pleases you too, and that you want to think about the following questions: 

• Who is the artist?
• What is the painting called?
• How does the painting make you feel?

Keep your eyes on this blog for the answers!