Below you can find another chapter from the book Thank you, mum. I hope it touches your heart.
(For the Swedish version, scroll down and then select Next post.)
"It's a bit scary. When I fall asleep, I'm not sure I'll ever wake up again."
I was surprised you said that. You had, on and off, had suicidal thoughts. I didn't know you were scared of death. If we are afraid to die, we will be afraid as long as we live. Sooner or later, death will come. We're either scared of it until it does. Or we realize there is no such thing as death. In Eckhart Tolle's words:
"The secret of life is to die before you die and find that there is no death."
How do we die before we die?
When I wrote my novel, Ursus - Dit rättvisan inte når,* I did a lot of research on soldiers and warriors preparing to die. One way is to prepare the practical aspects. How will I provide for my loved ones? How do I want my funeral? Who shall get what? Because we know that where we're going, no material things can follow.
It might feel morbid to plan for death. It doesn't have to feel unsettling; it can even feel reassuring. When we ponder death, we look that demon under the bed straight in the eyes. Without averting our gaze. We're not saying if I die, but when I die. Suddenly, that demon turns out to just have been a pile of laundry, forgotten under the bed.
According to a study made by The University of Kentucky, people, who think of death, become happier and calmer. In other countries, contemplating death is not weird, it's customary. Expected even. In many strands of Buddhism, they have Maransati: mindfulness of death. When we become friends with the thought of dying, we come to terms with the inevitable.
I have already filled out my "last wish." When I die, my loved ones will be notified and get access to what I have written.
I hope it will help them. If you, who are reading this, are sitting there, thinking of how nice that would feel, writing a will or a "last wish," then you can do a quick google search or contact a funeral home.
We've all heard the stories of people, who were on the brink of death, who came back to life with an extra pep in their step. If we give ourselves a made-up near-death experience, it may help us live the life we've always wanted. When we're reminded of life's briefness, it's easier to ignore the things that don't spark joy.
At the end of this book, I've
included an exercise. You can use it to map out your life. However, long or
short it ends up being. And, if it makes you uneasy thinking about the
questions in the exercise, skip them. Please remember, the most important thing
is to live a happy life, to feel well. That's the most beautiful gift we can
give the people around us.
* Ursus - where justice cannot reach. Written by Annika Rosendahl.
Please share this blogpost if you think it can help someone!
This was a chapter from the book Thank you, mum. A book for those who miss someone.
If you would like to give the book to someone you think can be soothed by it, or to yourself, you can find it on Amazon on any of the links below, or you can search for it on your Amazon of choice.
Amazon in the Netherlands (if the price of the paperback is higher than about 17 euros, check out another market)