When it's time to say something

 One of the hardest things we do as leaders, and sometimes also as colleagues or family members, is addressing poor behaviour or weak performance.

It is tempting to do nothing and hope it will pass.

And yes, sometimes it does pass.

The behaviour might have been a one-off. The performance dip might have been temporary, caused by something we may never know.

Unless the behaviour is so serious that it requires immediate action, I often use a simple rule of thumb:

Once is no time. Twice is a habit.

Once you conclude that you need to act or say something, timing becomes important.

M, one of the leaders I coached, told me that the longer she waited, the worse the conversation usually became.

Still, waiting is common.

S, who participated in one of my leadership programmes, said he had been told that a person he struggled to work with was “known for being difficult” and had “been like that for the last ten years”. Still, no one had managed to help this person change. Maybe for the reason a former colleague of mine described.

She said that managers often avoid marking someone as underperforming in annual reviews. In Sweden, that status triggers a formal process involving HR, documentation, and structured follow-up. It is far easier to set the rating slightly higher and hope things improve on their own.

An American colleague was surprised when he learned how rare it is in Sweden to dismiss someone for reasons other than redundancy. 

Bluntly, he asked:
“If you cannot fire underperformers, how do you run a business?”

The answer is that we find ways to care for both people and business.

Several leaders I coach have taken on people who were labelled difficult or underperforming. In a new team, with different leadership, these same people started to thrive and contribute.

It isn’t about people being good or bad. It’s about fit.

One trait that distinguishes great leaders from good ones is their ability to match the right person to the right task and group.

But what if you cannot find a good fit within your team, or even within your organisation?

Then I think Brené Brown offers wise guidance:

“It’s a big ask to have affection for the people we lead, but it’s a big job. If you can’t cultivate it, it’s better to move that person to a leader who can offer that. That is what the people we’re leading deserve.”

So, to sum up:

• Once is no time. Twice is a habit.
• The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
• People can thrive in a different environment. Adjust the environment or help them find another one.

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