How’s that
for a provocative title?
"A perfect mum."
We all know
there is no such thing.
Yet we
desperately aim for it...
So many
women try to do things “right” even if it means chasing some imaginary
standard. Many mothers lose themselves on the way. Fathers too, I can
imagine.
Serena
Williams told TIME that she never understood women before becoming a mum. She didn’t understand why they put themselves in second or third place. Now, as a mother, she says “it’s so easy to do. It’s so easy to
do.”
I agree. It
is easy to do. It’s as if we, as new-born parents, desperately look for how to
be. Often we end up going for some version of the self-sacrificing
mother, so often described
in films and books as something to strive for.
At the same
time, we know that we
cannot pour from an empty cup.
Have you,
like I, seen your mother stressed out and wished she would take care of herself
so you wouldn’t feel bad about her feeling bad?
If we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot take
care of our children.
And we for sure cannot teach them how to take good care of themselves.
By the time
Serena became a mother she was already an icon in tennis. Many wondered why she
wanted to go back to tennis. Why not just enjoy being a mum?
Her answer:
“I’m not
done yet, simple. My story doesn’t end here.”
She plays
tennis because she loves it. That didn’t go away because she became a mum.
There is no
such thing as a perfect mum.
But there
is such a thing as a perfect you.
Focus on
being you, on doing what makes you smile.
That is the
best gift you can give your children.
