1/29/19

Is your life the way it was supposed to be?

She stared at the e-mail, blinking rapidly to remove the embarassing tears.  She was in the office for god's sake, she could not sit here crying like a little girl.
But she was crying. Quietly and carefully, making sure the colleagues in the open plan office would not notice. She fumbled around in her pocket, but could not find a tissue. She quickly removed the tears with her finger. 
The organizational message in her inbox was taunting her. Someone else had gotten the job she had applied for. A man, three years her junior, both in age and at the company. And they had not even bothered to tell her, they had not  contacted her after the interview.

Bastards!

She had been in the same position for five years. She - the ambitous one, the star student, stuck in a job she was overqualified for.
This was not how her life was supposed to be. 


There is a simple formula for disappointment.
Expectations ≠ Reality  =  Disappointment
When we expect one thing but life gives us something else, we get disappointed.
Even if the formula is simple, the feelings can be hard to deal with. Sadness, grief, loss of confidence...

When you feel disappointed, take a step back and look at what caused it.

Once you understand what your feeling of loss comes from, allow yourself to be sad, to be angry. To let go.

Then move on.

Accept your new situation, get used to it and make the best of it.

At some point in time, you may notice that what was not supposed to be - was exactly that.  

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