Do you use problems as excuses or growth pills?

When I read the book Het Puttertje ( original title: The Goldfinch) by Donna Tartt, I was impressed. Impressed by how well Donna describes the despair of little Theo waiting for his mum to come home after a terrorist attack. Impressed by how she describes his relationship with Boris and his love for Pippa. Impressed by how much Donna Tartt knows about art and fraud.

As an author I was impressed. As a reader I was not moved.

Why not?

Because I didn't connect with the persons in the book. I followed them with curiosity but not with my heart.

The main characters kept finding excuses to why their lives were bad, rather than making life as great as possible.

As Tony Robbins says in "I am not your guru":
"Your biggest problem is that you think you shouldn't have one."
We all have problems. Some use the problems to grow. Others use them as excuses. like the story of the two brothers:

Ben is a teetotaler, Joe is an alcoholic. They both say it is because their father is an alcoholic.

You can find people who use what happens to them as an excuse. You can also find people who use what happens to them as a drive to make their lives great.

If circumstances don't decide what we do with our lives, then what does?

Victor Franckl describes it very well:
“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
Use the inevitable hardships to grow. 
Find your purpose. 
Then I guarantee you will be bigger than any problem coming your way.