When was the last time you paused and truly saw the beauty around you?
Not just the obvious beauty that catches our attention but the subtle, hidden kind—the kind that reveals itself when we look at the world with love.
During the release party for my book Rabbitface, I spoke about how anything viewed with love becomes beautiful. The more love you have for the world, the more beauty you find in it.
But this raises an interesting question: is a lack of love what hides beauty from us?
Do we fail to see the beauty in strangers or even in those who intimidate us because we approach them with fear rather than love? And perhaps, more importantly, do we fail to see our own beauty because we don’t allow ourselves the love we deserve?
So often, we’re taught not to focus on self-love, or even worse, to avoid it altogether. Many of us are conditioned to think that loving ourselves is wrong or selfish. But when we don't allow ourselves to love—whether it’s ourselves or others—it becomes harder to see the beauty that surrounds us.
I invite you to watch my brief video (in Swedish with English subtitles) on this topic and share your thoughts.
Are you great at checking off daily tasks but struggle to make progress on your larger life goals?
In this video, I explore how to manage your time and life more effectively, drawing from Alan Lakein’s powerful approach to writing a Lifetime Goals Statement and my books on time management, Beyond Efficiency and Visst har du tid.
Lakein’s method helps you clarify what you truly want by asking three key questions:
1. What are my lifetime goals from where I stand today?
2. How do I want to spend the next three years?
3. If I knew I had just six months to live, what would I focus on?
Answering these questions can help you identify your priorities, organise your tasks, and ensure you're taking daily steps towards your bigger visions.
In the video, I also share practical tips on how to integrate these goals into your weekly schedule and overcome the distractions that often derail us from what truly matters.
I’ll be hosting a free webinar in early 2025 where I’ll guide you through the process of creating your own Lifetime Goals Statement. To stay updated and receive an invitation, sign up for my newsletter!
Letting Go
of Mum Guilt: A Lesson from Siw Malmkvist
As you may know, Siw
Malmkvist has been a celebrated entertainer for over six decades and has lived
a life full of music, laughter, and performances.
What you may not know, is that she often felt guilty leaving her kids with their father for evening
performances. When her children were grown, they told her they never felt
abandoned or lacking. The guilt she carried was entirely self-imposed.
If you ever feel guilt, especially mum guilt, I hope you can recognize it for what it
is—a narrative we’ve created ourselves.
Prioritise
your well being and that of your family.
Enjoy the moments, big and small,
without regret.
Siw
Malmkvist shows us that a fulfilling life is possible when we embrace both
our passions and our roles as parents. 😊
PS. During the 1970s, when Siw was
touring Germany, she stumbled upon a promotional sign that read: "Siw
Malmkvist – die grosse Knüller aus Schweden." When she learned what Knüller meant in German and that it wasn’t at all
what it sounded like in Swedish, she could laugh about it. 😊
In this week's video, I help you find the right level of planning using insights from Alan Lakein’s How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, along with my own thoughts.
Alan emphasizes that control starts with planning. As I’ve mentioned before, more control leads to more freedom.
First, accept that while your time is limited, your imagination and commitments aren't. With just 168 hours each week, it's essential to choose wisely how to use them. As Alan says, planning is decision-making.
To gain control and freedom in your life, become a good decision-maker.
In the past, lives were often dictated by traditions and social class, limiting choices. Today, we face many more decisions, which can be overwhelming.
Deciding can be difficult due to conflicts between short- and long-term goals and competing rational, emotional, and physical needs. On top of that Everyone wants some of our time.
It's crucial to recognize what’s within our control and what isn't. Focusing on what you can control expands your influence.
Alan describes three approaches to time management:
Drifting (letting things happen),
Drowning (feeling overwhelmed), or
Deciding (making conscious choices).
To decide effectively, regularly ask yourself: What's the best use of my time right now?
This habit helps you make intentional decisions throughout the day.
Good planning maximizes benefits from minimal time investment.
It takes practice to become a skilled planner. Planning involves listing tasks and prioritizing them. Alan suggests using an ABC system for priorities: A for most important tasks, B for less important, and C for least important.
Keep in mind that priorities change over time. What’s critical today may not be tomorrow. Focus on high-value tasks rather than simply completing many low-value ones.
Planning should encompass both daily tasks and lifetime goals. (I’ll talk more about lifetime goals in a future video post.) It’s beneficial to plan at the end of each day or early in the morning and review your week ahead at the end of each week.
Ultimately, planning is where control begins—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
In a world with more choices than ever, deciding how to spend your time can be challenging. With so many options, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Yet, mastering the art of decision-making is key to finding freedom and balance.
Accept that your time is limited, and make intentional choices about where to focus your energy. With thoughtful planning, you can maximize the benefits of the time you invest and lead a more fulfilling life.
I hope this helps you on your planning journey!
Would you like tailored help?
Send me an email or book a short intro call to see if and how I can help.
Are you unable to see your own beauty because you expect it to look like someone else's glamour?
I like how former fashion model Paulina Porizkova describes Glamour versus Beauty.
She says that glamour requires a lot of work to show off your best. Beauty, on the other hand, just needs you to be yourself.
Watch this video to hear more about this or read the summary below the video.
A glamorous photo involves hours of work by makeup artists, hair stylists, studio lights, and perhaps some editing. It’s all about showing what you consider beautiful.
In contrast, beauty is fully being yourself. She shows a picture of herself looking natural with her boyfriend and another where she looks quirky with glasses that make her eyes look small. This highlights how glamour hides things while beauty is just being yourself.
However, being yourself isn’t that “just”, is it?
There are parts of us we might not want to share with everyone. We might show one side to our family and another at work. So yes, being beautiful requires daring to be yourself, but it’s not that simple.
Social media and TV show a lot of glamour with makeup and filters. We might compare this to our morning look with glasses on.
Could it be that we can’t see our own beauty because we expect it to look like someone else’s glamour?
There’s nothing wrong with glamour. I’m happy dressing up when I release a new book. But at home, I dress differently.
Glamour is fine just remember not to confuse someone else's glamour with your own natural beauty.
When you think of freedom, do you believe controlling your time increases or decreases it?
Some might argue that time management equates to less freedom. However, both I and my clients, along with Alan Lakein in his book "How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life," assert that proper time control grants more freedom.
In the video I summarise a section of his book, intertwined with my own thoughts.
Below the video, you can read a summary of what I say, should you prefer that format.
Firstly, consider what time is. Time is irreversible and irreplaceable. Many stress over this, fearing wasted moments. While true, there's no need for anxiety. The past cannot be changed; focus on the present as new time continually arrives—168 hours each week for you to decide how to use. Time is life; mastering it means mastering your life.
Lakein's approach to time management isn't about squeezing tasks into the shortest timeframe. Over-focusing on efficiency can strip life and thought from activities.Instead, it's about working smarter, not harder, allowing you to pursue what you love. For instance, despite a demanding job and three young children, I found time to write stories because of effective time management.
Lakein emphasises being effective over merely efficient. Efficiency is doing tasks quickly; effectiveness is choosing the right tasks. Sometimes this means delegating or lowering ambition levels on less important activities. Effective time use is a learnable skill, not an innate talent.
The payoff for managing your time better is gaining control over your life. This control shouldn't be too tight like a clenched fist—compulsive and obsessive—nor too loose like a limp hand—apathetic and lazy. Aim for balanced control, akin to a flexible yet functional hand.
Remember, different people require varying degrees of structure and spontaneity. This can change with life phases; what worked in your twenties may not suit you as a parent. Time use is personal; only you can judge its effectiveness for your life.
Coaching can help tailor time management strategies to your needs. Books and videos provide insights but finding what works specifically for you might require personalised guidance.
Lakein warns against becoming over-organised, an overdoer, or a time nut—all extremes where potentially valuable traits become liabilities. Over-organisation prioritises plans over actions, overdoing focuses on ceaseless activity without assessing value, and being a time nut involves rushing through an impossible schedule without questioning it.
In essence, greater control of your time leads to greater freedom by finding the right balance for you without veering into extremes.
Let me know if you want my help finding your way of managing time.
